Congratulations for getting over that obstacle ! I went throught that too . Now whenever we do hear from my JW in laws ,which is seldom, I am always sure to bring out the positive things going on in our lives . It is always like she is expecting us to say we are destitute and ready to come crawling back to the org. She seems disappointed when I tell her everyone's job is going well or someone just got a raise . Never is she genuinely happy for our successes . Blah on the negativity YAY for your family !
troubled mind
JoinedPosts by troubled mind
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7
No longer feel nervous or guilty when I see a JW out in public...
by QuestioningEverything ini used to feel nervous when i was out and would encounter a jw.
instantly, i would feel guilty that i wasn't doing more spiritually.
seems like the conversation would always go the the kh and jw's topic and the usual "we miss you, blah, blah, blah..." i am happy to say--- that is not the case anymore!
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49
told my parents to never ever tell me they love me again....
by oompa in...i told them in a very serious sitdown in their living room....said..."because if you cant show it then it does not count...that is not real love no matter who tells you it is....because it is how it makes me feel that determines if it is love....not if you just say it...and me and my sons do not feel that love at all now"....and i stayed calm and talked slowly and barely shed a tear as i held them back...and i had asked them to not say a word but just listen...dad said they would as long as it was not about religion as i knew he would.
this was two of the worst days of my life in a row..i told them the pain me and my boys feel from their shunning is worse than if they had died...that then i could grieve naturally and move on because that is normal....grief helps you cope...my grief is different because they choose to act like i am dead and normal grief does not seem to work on that.
i shared an epiphany with them i had about mens rules vs gods great idea of dna (but no i am not sure about a god anymore)it went kinda like this:.
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troubled mind
((((00mpaa))) I have so much respect for what you did . It breaks my heart to see how this religion effects families . How did they react afterwards ? It has to touch them to their core . I imagine they must have a horrible time sleeping at night turning over your words in their minds as they try to counter that with the hate in the Watchtower ...... I hope as your son says this will all now end ....no more JW's in your family line .
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Best answer to "What prevents you from getting baptized?"
by venusinfauxfurs inthe nosy elder at the congregation i attend until i can get out very soon (just quickly: born in, was headed towards unbaptized pub but changed my mind about that and baptism) pulled me aside and showed me the scripture about coming across the body of water and asking "what prevents me from getting baptized" and i really want a quick, preferably smart-ass reply the next time he puts me on the spot like that.. .
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fire away!
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troubled mind
How about : " Hell hasn't frozen over yet ! "
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an interesting day with my kid (never give up!)
by Aussie Oz inas many of you know, i don't see my teenage son much these days... friends more fun then dad, you know.
but last time he was here we had a little chat about his life and decisions.
see, he knows he should be looking deep at the jws and doesnt want to.
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troubled mind
Now that your son's girlfriend is baptised there will be enormous pressure on him to follow . She will be advised to not date him until he has made certain his intentions of following the cult . It comes down to the unevenly yoked illustration .
Our oldest son was baptised and the girl he loved was raised a witness ,but had not yet been baptised (she was studying with a pioneer with the intent to baptism ). The Elders gave talks about how wrong this dating was (w/o stating names ,but everyone knew who they meant) It lead to people marking her (my son didn't live in the same congregation) . NO one would come to her bridal shower ! After being in this small congregation all her life and everyone knowing her ....it really ticked me off people were so petty . I was so proud of her for sticking to her guns and not allowing others to push her too fast . They ended up marrying in Las Vegas ,and she never did get baptised . They have beeen married six yrs now . Her best friend from childhood married her brother ,but doesn't talk to her anymore just because they quit attending meetings .
I hope the best for your children .I think you have done a great job helping them to have a reasonable,balanced outlook .
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What Do You Say or Is It Better to Saying Nothing?
by Eiben Scrood ini miss some of my old watchtower friendships.
usually i can just put the people out of my mind but when a big event comes up like me expecting my first child, i did reach out a bit.
this one friend in particular was kind of like an older brother to me.
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troubled mind
I think it is very sad he could just not say, " Hey really glad to hear from you it has been a long time ! Wow great news about you having your first child ,that is exciting . How does it feel being a Dad ? " See that would be normal expressions from a long time friend . Instead what you got was a JW infomercial .
Your wife is correct about letting go of the old relationships . They are not based on reality . His response is only a small glimpse of what is to come .
Should you respond ??? That depends on you . One safe way I would respond would be something like this ," Well it was great sharing my happy news with you ,my wife and I are so happy with the prospects of raising our child together in a happy well balanced home ." Leave it at that imho.
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What Do You Like For A Drink?
by minimus ini'm usually a cognac drinker.
i love armagnac too.
and i enjoy a martini i invented---mandarin vodka with a slight bit, usually about a capful of chambord served in an ice cold martini glass.. this saturday i'm mixing with my gf's friends and family in conn. with some affluent people and i might want to try something different.
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troubled mind
Grey Goose L'Orange over ice with a splash of sprite and an orange slice is my favorite summer time drink .
I also like to have tequilla and vodka mixed with sprite . Rum and coke for when I want to stay sober .
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Shunning,, let's twist the knife in a little deeper now !
by man in black inthis morning i took my dog who is a therapy dog over to the hospital and visited with several patients.
it is quite an experience, and it really helps people undergoing medical treatment to calm down and relax.. my wife was one of those patients, she is undergoing some tests before getting her gall bladder removed which will probably be sometime tomorrow.. afterwards i took the dog home, cleaned her up, and changed my clothes.
since i was alone i drove over to panara to try one of their breakfast sandwiches, several of the nurses told me that they are pretty good.
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troubled mind
It is definitely their loss MIB ! You and your wife are good ,kind people ,and do not deserve to be treated in such a cold manner . I can only shake my head at the ridiculous behavior witnesses call love .
The work you do with May is so wonderful . You must have such inner satisfaction knowing what you do now brings such immediate benefit to the people you bring her to see (sure beats a morning of knocking on doors !)
Your experience made me get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach . I know exactly how it feels when former lifelong 'friends' now walk by and see right though me or give me the, 'rotten egg smell ' ,look .
Everyday I see someone from our old hall .....every freakin day . My school bus route takes me by my brother in laws house (the ubber Elder) . He has his own floor installation business ,and has all witnesses working for him . So every morning when I drive by.... he , my two nephews , my daughter in laws brother , and at least three other young men that use to be very close to our children ...all stand in his drive way preparing for their work day . Everyday they see me and quickly turn away or look down ....some days it hurts worse than others
But lately I have made it a point to stare right at them SMILE BIG and wave You see they are the jerks not me . I am a friendly person ,and I won't let them cause me to become like them (soul-less) . One day shopping I ran into an Elderette ,we kept going down the same aisles ,finially I laughed and said ' Glad you got to see me today ' ,she even had to smirk at that . Humor is my coping mechanizism otherwise I would totally be a troubledmind
So I guess what I am trying to say is your too nice of a guy to let them hurt you ,you have done nothing wrong . Hold your head up smile and pretend they are strangers that just sucked on a lemon . Smile and feel pity for their unfullfilled dreams .
MIB , Hope your wife's surgery goes well and that she will be home and feeling better soon !
p.s. Hug that little pooch of yours for me
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UK newspaper interest in "mentally diseased", any Witnesses want to come forward?
by cedars infollowing the recent activity surrounding the "mentally diseased" apostate article, a major uk newspaper has expressed an interest in covering the story.
the correspondent as been told about this forum, and he is particularly interested in hearing from those inside the organisation, as i think few people are aware of how much unrest there is actually within witness ranks at the teachings of the society.. would anybody like to be used as a source, either anonymously or otherwise?
if so, it might be worthwhile saying a few words on this thread.
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troubled mind
The words in the Watchtower breed hate and fear . When someone leaves it is assumed it was because they wanted to persue some ungodly course as stated in the article above .
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and walked away at the age of 44 . I had been in the same congregation over 30 yrs. When I stopped attending immediately people became suspicious instead of concerned . Many old friends just stopped talking to us without asking us why we left . My daughter in law also just stopped attending ,she was told by her best friend and sister in law that she was "bad association" ,and that their friendship was over unless she came back to meetings . Control over others is a major issue with in the organization and was a major flag of concern for me .
I have Witness family members that no longer have any contact with me . My husbands family also has begun shunning us with out ever speaking to us about why we ended our association . My husband's sister in law walks right by us in the grocery store refusing to acknowledge our 'hellos' ,why ? Because she has been conditioned by the Watchtower to believe saying a greeting would mean she approves of our apostate ways and taints her somehow .
The religion has gotten away with this behavior of spreading hate speech under the laws of freedom of religion, and it always will . My hopes though ,are if more journalists speak out about what is going on people will be educated ,and forwarned about the sect that knocks on their doors Saturday mornings .
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Going back to the hall for the first time in four months
by lohengren infour months ago i left home after arguing with my pops.
haven't been to a meeting since, nor have i talked to my father.
tomorrow i'm gonna go see my 8 year old brother give his first talk.
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troubled mind
I think that is nice of you to go through that in order to support your little brother . Do you still get to speak to him ? Just becareful not to get his hopes up that you may return to meetings (if that is indeed not your plan).
Let him know this visit was only because you love him . It can be confusing for little kids in this situation. They may even believe that they have the power to get you back into the "ark of salvation". Speaking from experience . I was 10 yrs old when my older brother left the JW's and I always thought I should be doing something to help him back . I fantacized at every convention he would come in just to see me ....it was really sad .
Parents unwittingly put thoughts in the little kids heads too ,that they have some power or ability to sway their sibiling back ....a lot of pressure for a kid ,that doesn't know yet ,he can not control other peoples actions .
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58
So why
by bushido8000 init has become very apparent to me very quickly that this forum is dominated by ex-jws.
i have many questions and topics to present but i first want to know who i am presenting these questions and topics to so i have 2 questions that i would like as many of yall to answer as possible.. .
question 1: did you leave the organization out of the blue or were you first disfellowshipped?.
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troubled mind
Walked away suddenly ,not Df'd just couldn't stand feeling so unhappy , empty ,and tired of hypocrisy and gossip......
Four yrs later the Elders came to the door (the one with the Christmas wreath on it ) trying to say they missed us ,loved us , oh and by the way 'we really just want to know if you celebrate holidays now ?" After several weeks of harassment a Police officer was asked to explain cease and desist to them ...Don't know if that led to me being DF'd or not because they are not allowed to contact me anymore ahhhh peace and quiet .